The Beginning of Weeding The Weeder

Healing isn’t a straight path—it’s a journey filled with realizations, setbacks, and growth. Weeding the Weeder was born from that journey. It’s more than just a blog; it’s a space to process, reflect, and connect over the shared experience of breaking cycles.

I’ve been asked why I created this platform and how it fits into my own healing. The answer isn’t simple, but it’s real. Here’s the heart of Weeding the Weeder—why it exists, what it means to me, and where it’s going.

What inspired the name Weeding the Weeder, and what does it mean to you?

The idea came from the fundamental belief that we are all like gardens—we have the ability to bloom, but the conditions we grow in shape how we develop. Hydrangeas have always fascinated me because their colors change based on the acidity of the soil. In the same way, people are shaped by their environments. The way we grow up, the experiences we endure, and the trauma we carry all influence the traits we bring into adulthood.

For me, that past was full of cycles of healing. I was abandoned by my father, raised by a stepfather who was verbally abusive, and had a mother who was controlling. Those experiences shaped me, but I refused to let them define me. My goal has always been to improve myself—to weed out the bad habits, toxic behaviors, and unhealthy patterns linked to my past.

That’s what Weeding the Weeder represents: the ongoing process of removing what no longer serves us, so we can grow into something stronger, something better.

Was there a specific moment or experience that made you realize you needed to create this platform?

I realized the need for a space like Weeding the Weeder through conversations with my closest friends. Every time we got together, we found ourselves unpacking the past—whether it was childhood trauma, toxic relationships, or the struggles of unlearning old patterns.

As an aging millennial (now 38), I see this pattern across my entire friend group. We’re all in the stage of life where we’re raising families and trying to make sure our kids have better emotional outcomes than we did. The root cause of so many struggles? A lack of communication.

Many of us grew up in environments where emotions weren’t openly discussed—where feelings were dismissed or met with conflict. We weren’t taught how to process or express emotions in a healthy way. And now, as adults, we’re trying to navigate that on our own.

We vent, we reflect, we process—but what if this conversation was bigger? What if more people could share their experiences, learn from each other, and realize they aren’t alone? Weeding the Weeder is about starting that larger conversation. Because we are just a small percentage of people working to break these generational cycles, and it’s time to talk about it.

How has your own healing journey shaped the content and message of  Weeding the Weeder?

Healing isn’t a one-time process; it’s something I’m still going through. This year, I was blindsided by an experience that pulled me right back into emotions I thought I had already worked through. It was a seemingly small moment, but it sent me straight back to my childhood—the yelling, the punishment, the emotional void in my home.

What made it even more shocking was that it came from someone who had already acknowledged their past wrongs. We had healed together, we had moved forward, and I had seen their growth. And yet, something so simple managed to bring back a flood of emotions I didn’t even know were still buried.

That moment reinforced a hard truth: healing isn’t linear. Just because we’ve processed something doesn’t mean it won’t resurface. There are always deeper layers, hidden wounds we don’t realize exist until something forces us to face them.

But that’s also where growth happens. That experience pushed me further into this work. It made me more committed to setting boundaries and demanding accountability from those around me. I no longer make excuses for people who refuse to acknowledge their past. Healing requires acknowledgment, and I demand it now in ways I never did before.

Every step in the healing process makes us stronger. Weeding the Weeder is about embracing that—about peeling back the layers, finding clarity, and continuing to evolve.

What do you hope people take away from this blog and the conversations it sparks?

More than anything, I hope Weeding the Weeder makes people feel seen. Healing can be a lonely journey, but the reality is, we’re all navigating it in some way. If even one person connects with a story, relates to a topic, or feels moved to share their own experiences, then this space is doing what it was meant to do.

We all heal differently. Some go to therapy, others turn to books, podcasts, or meditation. Some find peace in nature, movement, or solitude. There’s no right or wrong way—only what works for you.

But what’s important is having the space to talk about it. I want this to be a place where people can share their thoughts, learn from each other, and maybe even find new ways to heal. Because the journey is going to be messy at times, but it’s also going to be powerful. And we don’t have to do it alone.

How does Weeding the Weeder fit into your personal growth, and where do you see it going in the future?

At this stage in my healing, Weeding the Weeder is about confidence and overcoming fear. It’s about stepping into real, uncomfortable conversations and no longer hiding behind silence.

Healing isn’t just about understanding the past; it’s about recognizing how it continues to shape us today. When you see what someone has overcome, it puts everything into perspective. But healing also requires boundaries—protecting yourself from those who refuse to change, while still leaving space for those who are willing to evolve.

For me, this means letting go of expectations I once had for others. I would love to have a real conversation with my mother—one where she acknowledges past patterns instead of excusing them. But I also know I can’t force someone else’s growth.

Like Mel Robbins says, Let them. Let people be who they are. Let them make their own choices. But don’t let their choices hold you back. I may never get the conversation I want, but I can control how I respond to it. I can choose to evolve instead of staying trapped in old patterns.

That’s what Weeding the Weeder is really about—acknowledging, healing, and creating space for the kind of growth that no longer depends on anyone else’s validation. And as this platform continues to grow, I hope it becomes a place where others can find the same clarity, strength, and freedom in their own journeys.